do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
