Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize