I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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