In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
