Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
