thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
