Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
