i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
