You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think i have herpe
just one?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
