she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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