C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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