I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize