I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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