I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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