Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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