So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
