ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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