I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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