We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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