New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
