census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
