My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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