I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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