Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
