Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
