It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?