Got a toothbrush?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life