Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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