last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize