Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
