its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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