Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
