hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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