This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
