so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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