Having a random hookup so left but love u
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
