i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
