From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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