What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
