On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
