i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize