Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have fence marks all over my body
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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