You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
