we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
