nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
