Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
