Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
