Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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