And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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