I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
