try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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