sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
