I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize