DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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