The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just pee around me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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