didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
