I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
