I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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