Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
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you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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