I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
